Last night I had either an anxiety attack or a panic attack. I am not sure which. It was full blown and it took me well over 40 minutes to get myself under control. I have no idea what happened, why it happened or how it all started.
I went to see Margret Cho here in Ottawa at the NAC and within 5 minutes of the lights going down, I had this sudden unbelievable wave of nausea, hot flashes and muscle contractions. For what seemed to be a full hour I had cold/hot sweats, my ears and face were on fire and I knew my blood pressure must have gone nuts. My heart rate was racing but I knew I was pale as a ghost. My legs were shaking like crazy and my muscles were twitching non stop. And for some reason I could NOT stop yawning. Not sure what that was all about.
For a good 15 minutes I was trying to strategize how I would be able to get up and leave but as I was stuck in the middle of the row, I couldn't even fathom how I was going to do it in the middle of her show. I am sure that didn't help the attack. I can't even explain the sensation. There was nothing I wanted more than to get up and leave so I could be in an open space.
I have never had a problem being in groups before or had any kind of reaction as strong as this. Sure my anxiety tips the scales in airports and on planes and boats but this was stronger than anything I have experienced in years. This can not happen again. Time for the doctor I think.